He slammed the door on her face. He shut her out just because she had let him down. “I’m sorry Daddy”, she broke down and buried her face in her hands, kneeling towards the door. She turned to her mother. Her mother looked away. She slowly walked towards her room and let the failure of her test crush all her dreams. “I am a disappointment”, she muttered to herself.
The next morning it was her parents turn to weep. Neighbours, relatives, journalists and the police crowded the house. A small bottle of hydrogen cyanide lay beside her body. A small note was kept on her desk- “I promise this is the last time you will have to hear this: I’m sorry.”
Failure doesn’t kill anyone, the absence of motivation does.
Do you think the harsh way of expressing disappointment of her parents killed her? No, demotivate from her own self is what is to blame.
There is a billboard saying – We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, but very good judges for the mistakes of others. It’s true because we usually blame the education system, stress, pressure from peers, teachers and parents.
We are often blinded from the evil within us that is to be blamed i.e the spirit of giving up.
So in order to keep going in the long run – do we need to keep going to counselors or attend workshops for mental health?
What would answer this question is another question- Why do we need to depend on someone else?
Of course, an external positive force can help someone do wonders in life, but an internal positive force can help you combat anything in life. The importance of knowing how to motivate yourself is maybe not the complete recipe to success, but it is definitely a way to know how to love yourself, something more important than the former.
In order to understand what something is, we need to realize what it is not.
I was looking outside my window one afternoon where I spotted a mother bird and its offspring.
The mother bird kept pushing her offspring out of the nest.
The poor fledgling was terrified and kept moving backwards. After a lot of moving back and forth, the offspring stopped moving backwards.
It let the mother bird push it out of the nest. Out came the wings, and that’s how the tiny bird learnt to fly.
Now, did the mother really ‘motivate’ its young one? No. It simply forced its offspring to learn to fly so that it doesn’t remain dependent on its parents.
Sometimes forcing someone to do something ends up being good for the person, like in this case.
What we need to understand though is that motivating is not pushing.
Now if the mother bird would try to get the offspring to fly by encouraging it with food then that is a clear example of motivation. A person is motivated when he/she develops the desire to do a particular thing, and not because he/she is forced to do so.
Are motivation, encouragement and inspiration the same things?
Inspiration is easily the odd one out here. When you are impressed with someone and if you want to follow that figure then that is known as an inspiration.
It isn’t necessary it is always people that can inspire you. It can be a person’s lifestyle that inspires you to work hard, or a movie you watched recently to make you want to work on something.
Encouragement is a “Yes you can do it!” or a “We all believe in you!” shout out to your friends or near ones. Encouragement is giving hope.
On the other hand, motivation is more materialistic, more tangible and goal oriented. “You can work that treadmill on a higher speed for 1 more minute” or “Do more quizzes, it will help you in your test” is motivating.
While both can mean giving hope, motivation can mean being given that extra urge. Encouragement is what can be given to you but motivation is what you seek.
Finally, let’s talk about- how to motivate yourself.
Keep the spark alive
Do you remember the spark in your eyes or enthusiasm each time you start something new?
Do feel it the excitement slowly diminishing or fading away? Only a robot would say no!
It’s very normal to feel this way- and what could solve this problem is to realize what works best for you! Learn to enjoy work- reward yourself each time you reach a milestone or a small goal.
For example- if you need to get 50 assignments done in a month, indulge in some online shopping each time you complete a dozen.
Treat triumph and defeat the same
Most people are oblivious to the correct way of defining the word- ‘failure’. Failure is only the lack of success.
It isn’t something to frown upon on, be ashamed of or to give enough importance to be a cause of death.
Failing doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, you’re flawed or you’re the worst. Jon Sinclair once said “Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo”, so is success. We need to stop labeling our lives with things so temporary.
Winston Churchill owns a wise quote saying, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts”.
Click the on Facebook memories of your mind
Do this, and filter out the positive ones. Spend some time thinking about your past victories you would like to give caption as #throwback to.
Your past victories can remind you of the hard work you put into and can motivate you to go to repeat history.
Record yourself saying good things about yourself on your phone. Tell yourself you are awesome, you are loved, you are blessed and you can achieve whatever you wish to. Listen to this recording whenever you feel low and lost.
Sometimes all the therapy you need is talking to or listening to yourself aloud. You can also keep a journal- to keep a track of your mini goals every day.
The cycle of positivity
No one is lucky enough to be around people or a bunch of friends to offer you good vibes or motivation.
There is always going to be one sad bug to ruin it for you! Only you can choose to ignore, reflect back a negative vibe or create your own cycle of positivity.
Motivate others and be there for them and they are automatically going to send more positive vibes back.
Don’t be a quitter
This was talked about before as well, but it is important enough to be repeated several times. There might be a million reasons which you might think is worth signing out of something- but really, there is no such thing.
If you prohibit yourself from giving up it automatically makes you motivate yourself to get the job done.
I know it sounds very obvious and you might be all ‘duh!’ about it, but it is patently necessary to realize we don’t necessarily practice all things logical even though we are enlightened about it.
“I knew this”
There are too many tips we already know but don’t practice. When it comes to making something we don’t know how to like a choco lava cake or a certain hairstyle- we just need to go through instructions.
However, life lessons or life concepts don’t come with a set of instructions or a manual. It comes with personal growth- thus we already know so many things that can benefit us. Reading autobiographies, motivating books like The Last Lecture, going on an interesting vacation, leading a healthy lifestyle (the eat well, sleep well kind), take a walk while listening to your iPod and the list of obvious tasks is endless.
Know what’s best for you
There might be a shocking possibility that none of the suggestions listed above could work for you! And again for some this list could itself be a kind of motivation. What we need to understand is we are all unique, and our uniqueness also lies in the way we look at success, perseverance or motivation.
If we can decide for ourselves to choose what works for us and what doesn’t; it certainly won’t be a big deal to be able to know how to motivate ourselves.